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gancho | October 16, 2019

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How to please a woman

How to please a woman
As in life, so in tango every man should know about what women want.
  • Woman would be glad if the roles were reversed: That there would be too many menrather than too many women.  They would not complain if men were sitting it out, waiting for a dance (at least for the first few years).
  • Women would be very picky about men, and if there were many good dancers, theladies would prefer the man who is dressed just as well as they are.
  • Women want a man who does not run into others–both the pilots in the airplanes in which they fly, and the “pilots” at the milongas where they dance. They want to trust that the man is a good navigator in order that they may focus in on the music and the wonderful tandem movement of improvised tango.
  • Women want men who respect the music first and dance musically over men who have many cool moves which are not connected to the music. Size is not everything, gentlemen–and by that I mean the size of your step repertoire.
  • Women want an embrace that says you are a gentle-man.  Consider your handshake with a woman as being analogous to your embrace:  If you squeeze her hand until it hurts, she will avoid you.  If your handshake is limp, she might see this as a possiblebad omen!  Let your handshake start out with a clean hand, warm and comfortable.  And just as you would not break away your gentle-but-manly handshake in order to do cool gestures, also avoid breaking away from your warm and comfortable embrace to show off.   Men, maintaining your embrace is like maintaining your erect . . . posture–both posture and the embrace are very important.

Once you know what a woman wants are you afraid she will change her mind (as the myth goes)?  The French novelist and diplomat, Jean Giraudoux, pondered: “Men should only believe half of what women say.  But which half?”   My suggestions above are part of the half you should believe, gents.   No question.

Giraudoux obviously did not dance tango, otherwise he would have said,  “Men should believe only 1 of 10 of the compliments they get when there are too many women at the milonga.  But which one?”

That’s more like it, Monsieur Giraudoux.

Tango Therapist
link to blog is here

Who is Tango Therapist?
My first passion in life was music, playing professionally through my entire teens and into my early adult life. Along with that passion came the passion of languages, English creative writing, Spanish, and later Greek, German and now I am working on French with great enjoyment. Then came the passion of philosophy (MDiv Boston University). Yet more graduate work gave me the passion of helping victims of psychological trauma. Tango has given me new insights in the therapeutic process of bilateral stimulation to the brain for trauma victims. Somewhere in the middle of all these passions I fell in love with long distance sports while living in Europe — marathons and triathlons. Today all my passions have combined into allowing my body to be an instrument of the music, dancing nearly every song as long as the music plays (“long distance tango”). Then I write about it. Tango isn’t a dance for me, it is the focus of all previous passions into one wonderfully amazing thing: Argentine Tango.

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