The perfect tango embrace of Simon and his daughter Sophia
The fourth and final (for now) part of the “Tango and Pregnancy” series presents Simon Kozma – a tango devotee, a loving father and spouse. He was very kind to share some incredibly beautiful and intimate experiences from dancing with his pregnant wife and his little daughter Sophia. Simon also revealed why he believes baby Sophia is a true tanguera who adores tango.
How did you start dancing tango and what attracted you to the dance in the first place?
I started dancing twice. First in 2009 all signs were just pointing towards tango. I went to a jazz concert in a venue that at the same night was hosting a milonga and I just bumped into it… The feeling of joy and calmness was mesmerizing. On the next day, I heard an old man playing “Por Una Cabeza” on the street and I felt happiness. After that, I watched a movie with a tango scene in it. That was the point when I decided to try it. Well, I attended classes for a couple of months, but the feeling I was looking for wasn’t 100% there and, besides that, I had entered into a relationship where she said “no way”. But two years later, the day after we broke up, I was in a tango class. I was so lucky to find a maestra that was teaching embrace, comfort and joy. That’s when I really got the taste of it!
Were there any changes in the way you experienced tango after you found out that your partner was pregnant?
Definitely there was a change in my dance when I danced with her! I was more attentive in the beginning. Later, it must have been after we first heard her heartbeat I experienced for the first time the feeling of dancing with my daughter. I really felt the three hearts melting together!
Do you think your leading changed during the pregnancy?
I didn’t think that my dance changed, however some of my partners have felt it. When I asked them how they just smiled and said… it’s different. Based on their smile I guess it was one of those changes that worked out for the better.
Did the pregnancy make you a more sensitive or responsible leader?
I believe it has improved my dissociating abilities. Moreover, I used fewer giros when dancing with my girls. Automatically, I was trying to use all my sensing abilities to feel where their comfort zone is and if in some steps I reached that I changed it or stopped it as fast and as smooth as I could to avoid any possibilities of hurting them.
Did the pregnancy make you feel closer to your partner while dancing/listening to tango music? Did it enhance your tango experience?
Of course, we were closer especially when little Sophia started getting bigger and my wife’s belly larger than mine . If I come to think of it that was the period when my embrace changed into more of a milonguero embrace – instead of using my chest I started using my whole body in leading.
What tango songs did you prefer during the pregnancy and were there any differences in your musical tastes in comparison with the time before/after the pregnancy?
I don’t know if my continuously changing taste has changed because of the pregnancy or not. However, it was in this period that I started loving Ricardo Tanturi.
Did you help your partner during the process of giving birth?
Yes, we went through this “tanda” together and it was an amazing experience! It wasn’t exactly a dance, however it was something very similar. We were hugging a lot during the labour in every possible position and we were listening to tango music. In this vulnerable situation when nature takes over this embrace meant security for both of us.
Do you listen to tango songs with the baby and does the baby respond to any tango songs in particular?
Haha! She is a tanguera. Seriously, I dance with her. I did not pay attention to which songs in particular and I do not believe she has a preference. Whenever she feels like it and the music is inspiring, she comes to me raising her arms for me to pick her up, she cuddles into my embrace lifting up her left arm for me to hold her hands and off we go! I don’t know when exactly is the moment when a soul starts hearing, but I know that it was the moment when she was listening to tango. Firstly, in her mother’s belly, than in our arms, after that sitting in my neck and now with me in a perfect tango embrace.
(As Simon was answering my questions he and his little girl were listening to the tango song “Pobre Flor”.)